It's just like the Real World with babies
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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