yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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