My room smells like vodka and shame
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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