Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
