If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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