And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
