Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
