No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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