Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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