Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
