if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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