i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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