I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
