Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
