went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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