Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
