He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
