Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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