do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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