The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
