Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
