I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
