Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
