But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
