apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize