Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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