Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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