your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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