just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
