instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
