I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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