That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
