I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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