no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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