it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize