just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
