...so i touched it.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
