please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
