i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
