the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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