i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
