there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
