Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
