And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
