I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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