He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
