Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
