eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
