On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize