At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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