I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
