you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize