Im at strip club and am horny
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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