Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Randomize
