Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
