I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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