girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
