Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
