ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
