The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
