kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
