Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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