Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
