i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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