Please don't use social media to get back at me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
