So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
