i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
