**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
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