dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
vagina is talking i cant
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
