she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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