my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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