when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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