let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
